Thanks for the memory.
Miriam

First, “and maybe an answer to the homophily Danah describes is to make such cross-pollination a specific goal in our work. Well, not just our work, but in those people we choose to listen to, observe, and interact with” — yes, what an important perspective. I think it really does come down to being more intentional with our work and interactions.

Like you pointed out, opening ourselves to diverse worldviews risks shattering our own. That’s what makes it so simultaneously scary and wonderful. But how many people are willing to take the not-so-easy route? Because I do believe it’s true what you said, that the “world is full of surprising and unrealized alliances,” and that to me is the deepest reason why storytelling has such potential for connecting and inciting progress. I too am trying to see if this moment is a special opportunity to see our beautiful tangles…

And thank you for the link to the Danah Boyd article. I’d heard about it, but hadn’t read the original. Many empathetic artists and writers naturally provide ‘pollination services’ between different cultures and sub-cultures, and maybe an answer to the homophily Danah describes is to make such cross-pollination a specific goal in our work. Well, not just our work, but in those people we choose to listen to, observe, and interact with.

I try to view the people around me with an assumption that behind every pair of eyes, there is a story I don’t yet know:

“Who is this person? What made them who they are? Why would they be responding this way? What do they want? What do they fear? What can I learn from them?”

Sometimes this requires ignoring outward signs, unexpected behavior, ideological ranting, etc. Empathy is not easy, and part of the difficulty is that trying to understand the worldview of someone who vigorously disagrees with us may undermine our own certainty. In general, I think that is good, and strengthens our convictions over time. But it feels tenuous, and makes judging feel easy by comparison.

The world is full of surprising and unrealized alliances, and empathy is the tool for discovering them. Peel away the layers of class, fads, fashions, sub-cultures, political ideology, and religion, many of us want the same things. And that leads to deeper questions: How did we get to this point, so factionalized and divided and suspicious of one another? Or is it that we’ve always been this way, and have just recently reached a moment in history where we’re able to glimpse the broader beautiful tangle that is humanity?
.-= Matt Blair´s last blog ..Textural and Temporal =-.

@ Dave – I think that simple phrase actually sums up quite a lot. Gets me thinking more too…

@ Elizabeth – That article was definitely a good reminder, especially with all this talk about the internet breaking all barriers, etc. — it’s still gonna take a lot of conscious effort.

@ Mama Lisa – I think you are right — it’s certainly more difficult to remain there. I don’t think it’s realistic to expect that we can perpetually maintain that state, but I think it’s extremely worthwhile that we make that difficult effort in order to be more conscious of what we do instead of falling into that default setting.

@ ejly – Thank you for your lovely words.

@ Melissa – Sounds like it’s no effort at all for you to go into that space — it really is an amazing trigger.

@ Jeb – Always better late than never for your words . I think you hit it when you said that this practice brings us to a place beyond judgment — relating to others expands our selves and others, whereas judgment often pushes us all down.

But if we stop, as you say, to consider that person, their background, what might have brought them to this place, we begin to relate in a way that judgment simply doesn’t allow. And I also think it helps us begin to value ourselves in a way we hadn’t previously. It helps slay the dragon that is our (my) need to compare ourselves to others. By recognizing that we all walk a unique path, each with our own obstacles to overcome, it helps me realize that a common result would be impossible to achieve. And it also helps me recognize that success needn’t be defined in such narrow terms.

Each among us have succeeded. Are successes. It takes a willingness to dive past skin to see that, though.