I went to my P.O. box today and was greeted by an envelope from my mom. I opened it 10 minutes later, as I was waiting for my basil tofu stir fry at a roadside restaurant. Inside, I found the card you see above.
First thought: Yes! Beautiful.
Second thought: But wait. Aren’t there parts of us so deeply ingrained that we don’t quite feel we created them? Parts that we have to find?
My plate of rice then arrived, giving me ample time to contemplate as I filled my belly. I mused and chewed, and by the time I washed it all down with a glass of water I realized this completely ties in with the midnight questions I asked a few nights ago, and the ensuing responses.
Sure, we come with a lot of stuff. We come with talents, tendencies, desires, pet peeves… the list goes on. But life isn’t about uncovering these things — it’s about what we do with them once we know they’re there. It’s about what we nurture, what we say, who we help, what we do — in essence, what we create.
So, do you want to find yourself, or do you want to create yourself? Now’s as good a time as any to get started…
Add your comments below, or click the title of this post if no comment form is visible!
If you enjoy this blog, I invite you to subscribe by e-mail or by RSS reader (links are near the top of the sidebar).
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s funny, Zoe, when I read that statement, the same two thoughts went through my head! “Yes!” and then “But wait!” I think what can be troublesome about the “finding ourselves” mode, is that it’s often filled with searching and wandering, and void of any *doing.* And much of that wandering is often misdirected and uninspired, so rather than yielding new understanding, it pretty much results in wasted time and energy.
But I really believe there is something in each of us, at the core, that we have to uncover and tap in order to live a fulfilled life. I think finding ourselves is step one of a process. It’s just that we often go about it all wrong. Think of when you misplace something in your house. You can either wander about, pacing from room to room looking for it, or you can sit down and think it through–when did I last use it or see it, what did I do after that, etc. It requires self examination and thought, and then action.
To extend the metaphor a bit further, and connect it back to your final thought, finding the missing item is not the point in and of itself. If you misplaced your hammer or glasses, once you find them you get to work pounding on that project, or put your glasses on and start reading or writing. It’s only what you do *with* what you’ve found that matters.
Thanks for the thought-provoking post!
Kristin T. (@kt_writes)´s last blog post..Facing the messiest room in my home/self
Hi Zoe!
Firstly, I want to say that I am so jealous that you LIVE in thailand and can have basil tofu stir fry in a ROADSIDE restaurant anytime.
Secondly, I want to thank you for such an insightful post.
“So, do you want to find yourself, or do you want to create yourself?”
My thinking is that the two questions are interrelated. You have to find yourself first, before one can create oneself, in a sense, because you have to see what you can work with before “creating” the self you eventually want or accept yourself to be.
The first thing that came to mind was the old indian story I once saw somewhere about the two wolves.
” An elder Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, “A fight is going on inside me… It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, pride and superiority. The other wolf stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside of you and every other person too.” They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one I feed.” ” –
Not sure who wrote it, but I found it on a David Mack Comic book!
In essence, we are both those wolves, but it is our own choice as to what wolf gets fed, and which wolf will win in the end.
Hope this made sense!
- JJ
I want to create myself, no doubt about it! Thanks Zoe, inspiring and thoughtful as always.
Writer Dad´s last blog post..How to NEVER run out of ideas
Great post and ideas, Zoe. Life is but a series of choices, and we create a different future in the things we do each day.
Inspiring – thanks!
Charlie´s last blog post..Objectify Email to Get A Grip on It
I have written a post response for you, which is in some senses is a Buddhist/Zen perspective:
http://isabeljoelyblack.wordpress.com/2009/04/20/in-search-of-what-is-true/
Joely Black´s last blog post..Face to face with the effects of being a control freak
That looks like the same magnet that’s on the filing cabinet in my study. I love the quote – fills me with inspiration just like Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony does!
Anthony´s last blog post..Izumi Sushi (and Appetizer Tip)
KT nailed it. Searching for yourself is a sucker’s game. It’s too ambiguous and it presupposes you haven’t got everything you need to be the force in this world you dream of. What’s more, you’re liable to get lost.
I’m a couple decades into that search myself, and here I am, wishing I’d thought to leave a bread-crumb trail.
LIfe requires more.
Jeb Dickerson´s last blog post..My posse
@ Kristin – Yes, that balance is what feels right to me too. You have to find what’s there to know what you’re working with, but then what really matters is whether we take advantage of that hammer or those glasses, or sit back content with the act of finding. Love your analogies
@ Jayjay – That story is the perfect reflection of what I was trying to express — thank you so much! It’s not about ignoring what we’ve found, but about what choices we make in how to move forward with it — feed or starve, for example.
@ Writer Dad – I think “creating yourself” just feels more empowering and exciting, anyway!
@ Charlie – Yes, exactly – the choices we make underlie what we create. I think it’s an inspiring way to view things too
@ Joely – I just read your post, and it’s a wonderful insight into your transformations. I think it actually speaks quite well to how I view this, because once you uncovered what was inside, the choices you made essentially created who you are now — what you chose to leave behind, what you chose to embrace. I think these choices are the act of creating. But I think it’s also important to appreciate how important that first act of finding/uncovering was to your process. Going over to comment there now!
@ Anthony – Awesome — I’d never seen this quote before yesterday
@ Jeb – I feel like I always repeat this, but I think it requires a balance. An awareness of what we’re working with will always be useful as we evolve and make choices, but getting so caught up in ‘finding yourself’ that you remain stuck deep inside isn’t really living either.
“I don’t want to live to the end of my life and realize that I’ve only lived the length of it. I want to live the width of it as well.” Got that from a book that I recently read on my iPhone, clipped it, and added it to my screensaver . . . so I can’t be sure, but think it was from Dan Miller’s “No More Mondays”.
By the way, don’t tell your mom, but I just clipped a copy of her card into my screen saver as well.
Good stuff. Thanks.
Dave Thurston´s last blog post..LnkMon – Had your Fill?
Thanks to your mom (and you!) I had a great creative day today! Thank you so much
Jean Philippe´s last blog post..Matthew Perricone (US Student)
Zoe’s mom (me) is so happy that this little card — and Zoe’s response to it — resonated with so many of her readers. I sent it to my daughter because she is someone who actually embraces this life philosophy naturally — one that proactively molds a life rather than passively wriggles oneself into one. And because of this, she has an exciting, challenging, rich future.
@mama lisa – that is such a nice comment. sometimes, the worst comments on blogs are from family members. how wonderful your daughter can trust you for the best stuff. zoe is something special as we have all come to experience through her blog.
jen´s last blog post..Oklahoma City’s Rainbow Records = Vacuum Junkyard
I agree whole heartedly. It’s a matter of creating who you are from the vast pool of potential and capabilities in you. You can pick and choose among them. You can nuture and develop those facets or potentials you want and in that way you create who you are. It really can be a matter of design and not only of default.
Both finding ourselves and creating ourselves are aspects of being a sub-creator. Part of us, part of our story is already there, but some things remain to be written.
Finding ourselves involves our heritage, our DNA, our personality. Creating ourselves involves our ambitions, our passions, our self-betterment.
James A Woods´s last blog post..Bohemian Rhapsody Remix
Your Mom is so wise. We CAN find within ourselves, exactly everything we need to create ourselves. Part of me feels the ‘need’ to find oneself comes about from marketing hype saying we need to, and here’s the book you can buy inorder to help you do it… just a bit of the cynic in me I suppose.
Who says they’re mutually exclusive?
Bear with me for a second here.
The universe finds particular elements in the correct configuration to constitute a particular compound. Even in a theistic worldview this is true, as god more than likely sets the rules by which these elements find each other (covalent bonding and such) rather than directly intervenes and creates each and every compound as a conscious act.
I tend to take the admittedly optimistic viewpoint that there are unlimited possibilities to find and morph and shape our personalities. We contain not only multitudes, but potential infinitudes. We can find the particular elements of a personality that come together in the same fashion that we can create ourselves: through exploration, education, and experimentation.
In an inner universe where anything is possible, finding yourself and creating yourself aren’t so different.
Ian´s last blog post..Gathering Mental Illness bloggers?
@ Dave – Cool quote! I have the card up by my desk, so we can share that inspiration energy
@ Jean Philippe – Wow, I’m sure my mom didn’t expect her card to inspire your creativity… that’s wonderful. It clearly inspired me too, as you see from this blog post.
@ MAMA LISA – You’ve made me blush even from thousands of miles away! I’m constantly amazed that I have a mom who is as supportive as I could ever ask anyone to be. Support inspires people to think with abundance, with inspiration
@ Jen – It’s pretty exciting to have my mom comment here… I get to show her off too!
@ Lisa – Yes, it’s not about creating something false, but about building, nurturing, and choosing!
@ James – When you put it like that, it becomes clear that we cannot abandon either one. We just need to use what we find to empower what we create.
@ Trina – Yes, I think we tend to take things to extremes in society. So a healthy practice like being self-aware and exploring within yourself becomes a “market” of “finding yourself.”
@ Ian – What a wonderful outlook — and a wonderful description.
“We contain not only multitudes, but potential infinitudes.” < – That is a very powerful idea, and one I will keep in the front of my mind.
I’ve seen this card at bookstores… I like it. It implies that we have the power to choose who we want to be. Every day, we make choices, and those choices are who we are.
@ Ricardo – Yea, it can be amazing to think back on different choices you’ve made and how they shaped where and who you are today
for Dave Thurston — Life…width -it’s a great quote, one of my faves and it was by Diane Ackerman. Zoe you continue to be amazing and I believe that postcard quote from your Mom isn’t “unknown” I think it is George Bernard Shaw — a genius, and funny, perspective.
Cath! What a treat to see you here
. Thanks for attributing those quotes — helps to give credit where credit is due. Miss you…!
I should have known that my dear Cath would know the origin of the “anonymous” text; upon googling Shaw, I see that he was a font of such truisms — another wonderful one: “I want to be all used up when I die.”
Ooh, that’s a good one!
{ 2 trackbacks }