photo by Denise Avila
[Full disclosure: I am writing this post at 12:45am from the bathroom. I was in bed with the lights out, praying for sweet drowsiness to wash over me, but my mind would not stop buzzing. More than usual. I had a pressing need to spill my thoughts. Since I've been staying at a guest house in Mae Sot (a few hours from Chiang Mai) this week, the only way to blog without waking my boyfriend was to slip into the bathroom. So here I am.]
I struggle with a lot of dilemmas in my mind. I think it’s actually a pretty healthy practice, because it keeps me constantly conscious of the choices I’m making and the ways I process the world. I don’t really think complete comfort is a good thing, because it implies that we have stopped questioning and challenging.
One dilemma that has been on my mind a lot this past year, and particularly during the past few months, is figuring out where to devote my energy. See, in a very over-simplified view of the world, one could say that the act of “helping people” generally falls into two main categories: helping those who have been denied basic human rights, and helping those who are comparatively in pretty good shape. Put bluntly, there are “save the world” types, and then there are people helping those of us whose struggles stem from luxuries like time and money.
I do not think one is better than the other.
A creativity consultant who helps artists organize their lives so they have the freedom to create art is doing incredibly important work. A project manager who is organizing a microfinance system for a small village in Indonesia is doing incredibly important work.
This leads into some timeless debates about the value of creativity, our duties to humanity, and other such really complex questions. But to be honest, it’s too late at night for me to do those discussions any justice. Suffice to say I believe a lot of potential is wasted by allowing basic rights to suffer, and I think a lot of potential is wasted by not nourishing those who are lucky enough to struggle with issues not related to strict survival.
The dilemma it leads me to is this: I cannot decide if I want to devote myself to supporting creative endeavors or to supporting deep-rooted social issues. When it comes down to it, I adore giving my attention to both. So my question is this: Do we have to choose?
*[Updated section]* Now, I’m not talking about being a business consultant who donates $100 to charity here and there, or being a web designer who volunteers at a soup kitchen two nights a week. These are both valuable activities, but what I want to talk about is effecting sustainable changes — whether it’s transforming a writer’s creative process through your coaching, impacting thousands of people with your painting, or saving a country from being swallowed by ethnic conflict.
I want to write great fiction. And create sustainable communities. And explore questions of art and creativity with smart, provocative people. Do you think I can? Or do you think it’s spreading yourself too thin?
Is there anything so wrong with putting lots of energy into exploring things like intense creativity and working to change issues in human rights? Does this create contradiction, or continuity?
I’m pretty sure I believe that there’s nothing wrong with it. That we do have enough energy to effectively devote to interests that are on such different planes. But I really want to hear what you think.
I’d love for you to spread this post around — Tweet it, e-mail it, mention it on your blog — because I want to hear from all kinds of people.
Now back to bed for me.
[Thanks for indulging my midnight blather 
]
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey Zdub..
First, how was your night’s sleep? Restful, I hope.
Now then…I don’t see any contradiction at all. Could you possibly be more effective by devoting the bulk of your efforts toward one instead of both? Sure. Maybe. But in denying one for the other, perhaps the ‘What Ifs’ would deny either your best self.
And don’t discount the possibility of doing both at the same time. Starting a movement/organization/non-profit/whatever devoted to curing certain social ills might well be the catalyst that gets others to act. Wherein ‘others’ = creative folks searching for purpose. Looking for a way to make a difference. Wanting an outlet for their unique contributions…a place to be who they are.
Just spit-balling here.
Of course it’s not wrong to want to do both. Whose rule would that be? I don’t understand the concept of “wrong” as applied to career and life goals. You should do whatever you feel inspired and motivated to do. Clear priorities and good organizational skills will let you avoid spreading yourself too thin, both by giving you a framework in which to make sound decisions on where to focus your time and efforts at any given moment and by clearing the chaff out of your way so you aren’t wasting precious energy on things that aren’t helping you achieve your goals.
One of the best bits of advice I ever got was the simple statement, “We live in an AND world, not an OR world.” I don’t believe there’s any compelling argument for imposing achievement limits on yourself – or for letting anyone or anything else do so either.
Debra Snider´s last blog post..Ersatz Wisdom
Are they really on different planes? I write a series of books that ask deep questions about the way we live, the choices we make. My world is a sustainable one. On top of that, there is this funny tendency to see fiction as this silly entertainment thing that isn’t actually important.
Then I found out about all the people who were learning disabled who love Amnar, the newly-blind kids who love the world I’ve created and produce as a podcast.
I think it is possible to do both because they work in tandem. I’d also argue it isn’t what you do, it’s the mindset from which you come that affects the reaction you create in the world.
I shall do a blog post in response, to explore these ideas in depth.
Joely Black´s last blog post..Dying into fear
I have been in a place very similar to this more than once. And I don’t mean writing blog posts from a bathroom in Thailand at midnight. I’m not sure if it is the same for you, but for me these thoughts were discontenting, unnerving.
But strangely enough, when I asked the question ‘Do I have to choose?’ I was never satisfied with people telling me ‘No, of course not, you can do it all!’ I never found an answer that DID satisfy, but I’m going to try something a little different here for your sake:
What if you do have to choose?
It would be a difficult choice, but maybe that is the point. The harder the decision, the stronger your conviction, your will and your determination will need to be. If you can choose one path over the other and pursue it to the end, knowing that this is what is right for you (or at least having the willingness to follow it all the way and find out), then perhaps you will be all the richer for it.
Treading both tracks might be possible. Indeed it probably is. But will you get as far along the road as you would if you had’ve made a strong decision to begin with?
Perhaps the important choice isn’t which journey you will take. Perhaps the choice is whether or not you have the courage to make a decision and see it through, or if you would rather try your hand at both courses and never truly master either.
No matter what there is always a danger of regret. The trick to it is confidence. And knowing that in just making a choice, you have done the right thing. Because if you refuse to make a decision and just stand, staring at the fork in the road, you’ll never get anywhere.
As for me… I think I spend far too much time staring.
Hamish´s last blog post..Poor, but sexy
I think there’s absolutely no question that you can do both! If it’s what you’re built to do, you’ll do it – and human beings are capable of pretty amazing things. I also think everyone who’s already commented has some great points as well, and Hamish’s note reminds me that often the most important part of getting anything done is just getting started. Once you’re able to stop thinking about what you could do and just start doing your work, it all tends to become much clearer, much faster. Enjoy the fact that you’re a self-motivated person with some serious passion for what you do!
Maggie´s last blog post..Gold Cloth, Hyacinths, and Daffodils
A good friend of mine has devoted his every spare moment to helping those in your category of “those who have been denied basic human rights” for almost 20 years now. Guess what? He’s still asking himself the same questions you are asking yourself.
I say, do what feels right ‘in the moment’, and don’t question if it is the RIGHT thing to do, and sure don’t box yourself into thinking it is the ONLY thing to do.
Urban Panther´s last blog post..Feeling a bit sluggish
Hello Zoe. I have found Peter Singer’s book The Life You Can Save very helpful in this question of where to put energy. It forced me to think about things I’ve never thought of before. I have discussed the book a little in my blog at http://wakingbeforedawn.blogspot.com and am planning to think and write about it more in the next while. If you do read it and want to discuss it, let’s.
Bill Metcalfe´s last blog post..Peter Singer: The Life You Can Save
As always, I was so inspired and invigorated by all your comments. It means a lot to me to read such thoughtful, stimulating words!
@ Jeb – Restful when I finally got back into bed! It really helped to write out my thoughts so they weren’t barreling through my brain. I like your spit-ballin’, and I think it’s really true about the “What if’s” — toxic stuff.
@ Debra – An AND world — I love it. It’s interesting to think of such simple, practical things like organization and efficiency to reconcile this “dilemma” — and hearing you refer to it as “imposing limits,” it puts things in a new perspective for me!
@ Joely – Awesome insight — can’t wait to read your blog post. I think the mindset is a good point, and it connects with what Debra said about not imposing limits — thinking AND instead of OR. Oh and by the way, I hate that “fiction is just silly and fun” notion — that it’s not “true” because it’s not a literal account of something that ‘happened.’
@ Hamish – It wasn’t really unnerving for me — more disconcerting/perplexing. Your reframing of the question is really interesting and provocative! Thanks for introducing that. What you wrote makes me realize that ‘no regrets’ (something I usually live by) is extremely important in this case.
@ Maggie – Wow, so true — once you just start working you realize that you have so much potential and capacity inside you… I find that with writing, jumping into leadership roles, etc. Thanks for the really encouraging words
.
@ Urban Panther – I love what you wrote — come to think of it, goes in line with what I said at the beginning of the post about it being healthy to always question. Thanks for your insight — your advice is simple but really resounds.
@ Bill – Great, I love book recommendations — I’ll see if I can get my hands on it in a used bookstore around here… fingers crossed. I’m going to check out the discussion on your blog.
Zoe, you probably won’t find the Singer book in a used bookstore– it’s new and not even out in paperback yet. I got it from the library.
Bill Metcalfe´s last blog post..Peter Singer: The Life You Can Save
Zoë, this is a great question, and one I’ve struggled with, too.
1. In my own experience, there can be a continuity between developing your own creativity and trying to create positive change. There is a potential for contradiction if one starts to sap time and energy from the other. If you need to devote 8 hours per day to your writing at the moment, and 10 hours per day to your human rights efforts, what’s left for you? That’s not a selfish question, it is one of personal sustainability: you will get worn down, both goals will suffer and no one benefits.
Over a lifetime, no, I don’t think we have to choose. Do we have to choose at a given moment? I think we do, to the extent that we make sure we are investing enough time, attention and energy to do our current project well.
2. By nourishing the creativity of those who are not in survival mode, you might be empowering them to come up with innovations that could make a difference to those who are struggling to get by. For example, you might not know the best way to convince a community that a vaccine can save lives, but maybe your writing or creative consulting inspires someone working in that community to make the case in a stage play rather than a boring pamphlet, and that makes the difference?
3. There is an implicit cultural bias that creative work is selfish and narcissistic, and that may be why it seems like writing and having a positive effect are distinct endeavors. Why not create a list of books and creative works that have changed the conversation about big problems, and keep that handy when the world is trying to convince you that creativity doesn’t matter?
Your post triggers lots of other thoughts, which I’ll pull into a blog post later today. Thanks for crawling out of bed to share your thoughts. Hope you get a good night’s sleep tonight!
Matt Blair´s last blog post..Too Many Ideas?
You may find one fuels or renews your energy for the other, a synergy so to speak.
@ Bill – Oh, oops! In that case I’ll have to wait til my trip to the States.
@ Matt – You’ve expanded the conversation in a wonderful way! Loved your blog post on this topic… everyone do visit the Elsewise Media trackback above!
@ Trina – That’s the feeling I’m getting too — a synergy sums it right up!
Zoe,
I’m a little slow on the uptake these days with blog commenting, hence this response is a bit late. But this is a lovely post. I ask myself variations of these questions all the time. And I think the answer is and has to be yes. We can and have to put our energy into all of it, the writing, the living, the doing good. And maybe every now and then we will need to put one of those first. But I don’t think we ever have to sacrifice any of it for long.
Then again, that said by the girl who is unemployed and staying with her parents at 27… temporarily!
This post makes me miss you!
xx
Tobey
Tobey´s last blog post..Porgy and Bess
Hi Zoe,
I don’t think the choice is necessary, but I do think sometimes the question of where to spend your energy at a certain point is, and it’s great that you have the insight to raise it.
It may sound trite, but every interaction we have with others can be an act of “helping people.”
In general, I have always considered those without basic rights, safety, and physical comfort to be of higher priority. I guess that is why animals that are used as commodities have always been closest to my heart. But I know homeless individuals who are happier than CEO’s, so I think that it is true that donating your energy to helping people creatively express themselves can bee just as valuable, especially since that energy will continue to spill forth into other lives.
The simple act of acknowledging someone with low self-esteem, rescuing an abused animal, showing support for a struggling artist, or carrying around extra snacks for homeless individuals can have a domino effect…just as your writing and website does. In physics, every reaction has a reaction, and isn’t everything energy in a very basic sense?
Even just by omitting harmful behaviors to others and ourselves is contributing to a better state of life.
So, no, you don’t have to choose, whatever you do will probably nourish the other alternative eventually.
xo,
m:)
oops, I meant every action has a reaction. And have you thought of bringing creativity into the lives of those without basic human rights?
Check out “Born into Brothels” if you haven’t yet, about a photographer who teaches children who are born into the sex trade in India. Very inspiring and beautiful movie.
Tobey, I value your opinion no matter where you live or where you work! I think you’re right, that we need to be aware of when one area requires more of our energy, and when the energy can be more evenly balanced.
By the way, I love the new look of your blog
Mako, I think we’re all going onto the track of synergy here, which I love. The idea that our different energies can nurture each other instead of compete. I think you gave a lot of valuable examples of this and of chain reactions, which are important. But I also was trying to highlight structural, sustainable changes, so I guess it’s a matter of figuring out which actions/energies can produce the strongest domino effect.
I’m glad you brought up the idea of bringing creativity into the lives of those w/o basic human rights. I meant to address that in the post, cause it’s a natural progression from this discussion. I actually work with an NGO here that does art workshops for disadvantaged groups, and it’s amazing work to see. The value of engaging the arts is something I wholeheartedly agree with and love to support.
One thing I was trying to touch on in this post was also “personal” creative endeavors — not necessarily just supporting creativity in general, but also working on personal creative projects (a novel, for example). I think that fits into the idea of different energies nurturing each other…
Well-said! I had asked the question of myself also, but never put it the way you have articulated here. The way it happened for me was because I had people who died on me when a teen, I resolved to always take advantage of the personal contact so I might never miss what we had to offer each other. Then had a blinding insight that if I couldn’t beg off of the personal contact from a fear & regret of loss, if I always put ahead the personal things I could do for others as my first priority, what this meant was I would never be able to work on my many natural talents so a wider audience could benefit.
My problem was that I had too many talents – they all clamored for attention. So by putting others first, I could evade the whole question. It took a long time to learn to take my talents for the ride they deserved. Even now, I’m still picking up on dreams I thought were impossible.
Now I find myself asking the same questions as you are here. What sort of person exactly should I aim to benefit? Who is in a position to take advantage of the benefit of my experience? Would I make more of a difference in life from lifting up a few souls who could really use what I have to offer with personal contact – or is doing that merely risking the unappreciated trials of re-parenting? Shall I reserve what I have to offer for those who appreciate it? How do I find these appreciative? If I work on polishing my own stone, who will know what I did?
Fascinating questions you’re stirring in us who read you. Thanks.
Franis Engel´s last blog post..What To Say When…
wow! there is so much fabulous counsel here. to add to these wise words, i would say: the power is in your choosing. and, also, that it is not — nor ever will be — either/or. it simply is. follow your heart; that is the choice. do your best; that is also the choice.
you have magic in you … choose to engage it!
you are so very much on the right path.
(also, i’m in a major celebration mode and absolutely feel that all is possible … you may want to temper my advice with that last bit of info
kenya´s last blog post..good film, great friends, rich gifts
You wrote: “I want to write great fiction. And create sustainable communities. And explore questions of art and creativity with smart, provocative people.”
So what is stopping you? How could you weave these together? Explore sustainable communities in your fiction, explore these questions in your fiction. Life experience and discussions will wend through and inform your writing; the smart people will follow, and precede.
What am I missing? Living the dream — I don’t see these as mutually exclusive. A time management and energy management issue, perhaps, but in terms of meaning making, do-able.
Barbara Martin (@Reptitude)´s last blog post..Responding to Criticism
@ Franis – Thanks so much for sharing your story — you offer a very different path that has led to the very same questions. I think asking them is extremely important, and the sense I’ve gotten in other responses is that if you act with your full heart and energy in it, your questions may not get answered but things will fall into place. I think it ends up being constant evolution in the end, anyway!
@ Kenya – Your celebration mode is contagious! I have to agree with you that there was some very wise counsel left on this page… I’m blown away.
@ Barbara – I think you’re very right to say that the energy and time we have to put into it is something we make. I’m left with a very strong sense of empowerment after reading all these comments… minds of abundance — it’s wonderful!
I suppose I gave up on revelation or spiritual enlightenment long ago and stopped fighting against my own goals. I say do both Zoe. I think in many ways, creativity and social consciousness go hand in hand. Ultimately–to me–life has no meaning other than your own meaning. One-hundred trillion years from when our solar system has been sucked into a black hole, none of this will matter; however, this is not to be taken negatively. Since we really have such a minute spec of time to live, we should do what we love. Overall, humanity is slowly nudging itself into a hopefully enlightened consciousness and beautiful ecosystem of prosperous nirvana. On the other hand, we are in a sense animals. Humans inhabit places they shouldn’t be (boy that’s a hard thing to say but is true). In America, the social consciousness is at war: individualists versus communitarians. One big question is: should an obviously corrupted government be the driving force behind making life better for the poor, or should individuals dedicate themselves to helping the less fortunate? It’s a paradox of the highest order. It’s easy to dismiss if you lead a comfortable life or were born into riches. I’m betting that it’s individuals doing their part in whatever way they can to help others combined with government. Though I am not rich by any means and struggle to eat and pay my own bills, I am extremely lucky to have food and shelter. I’m even more fortunate to own a computer, have Internet and be able to write. Living in a base mode of survival sucks. I know because I’ve been there. I’ll stop here. You did prompt me to write a long comment. I’m going to write a political explanation about what America’s going through based on your food for thought
Bobby Revell´s last blog post..My Upcoming Transgressional Fiction Novel
Bobby, I’m definitely with you that life’s meaning is simply our own meaning — whatever drives us and makes us happy.
“Overall, humanity is slowly nudging itself into a hopefully enlightened consciousness and beautiful ecosystem of prosperous nirvana. On the other hand, we are in a sense animals. Humans inhabit places they shouldn’t be (boy that’s a hard thing to say but is true).” <– I too hope we are moving toward expanded consciousness, but it’s so important that we don’t place ourselves above the rest of this world. Arrogance is our most dangerous flaw, but I do believe expanded consciousness can guide us to making the best of what we are given.
Like Jonas Salk said, “If all the insects on earth disappeared, within 50 years all life on earth would disappear. If all humans disappeared, within 50 years all species would flourish as never before.”
Now I really want to read your political post — it’ll give *me* some food for thought!
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