photo by aussiegal
[I will be traveling from November 17-28th, so this post has been scheduled to publish in my absence. Please forgive my inability to reply to comments!]
A few mornings ago, I was sitting at my computer drinking my customary mug of tea when my fella, Mr. J, walked in and said, “So, are you doing that writing thing you do?”
I felt sheepish. I was not doing that writing thing I do, unless tapping out a stream of e-mails counts as such (it does not). “Uh, no,” I replied. “I had a bunch of e-mails to catch up on.”
Mr. J eyed me skeptically. “But your routine was to write first thing, before opening e-mail at all.” He paused. “Wasn’t it?”
“Yea…” I sighed dramatically before stumbling through an explanation of my-schedule-is-off-and-I-just-want-to-get-this-stuff-out-of-the-way-and-blah-blah-blah. But I wasn’t even convincing myself. I stopped talking, looked up at Mr. J, and then admitted it: “Thanks for holding me to what I said. I need that sometimes.”
Why Look for Accountability?
As I’ve mentioned before, I like change and challenges. I also have a lot of ideas. Put those together, and you end up with a lot of fun stuff on your plate. But for a lot of people like myself, motivation and discipline don’t come in constant, surging streams. They’re around a lot of the time, but sometimes they slip out the door.
Now, I’m all about giving yourself a break when you need it. I enjoy leisurely meals, plenty of traveling, and I’ve been known to overindulge with crosswords. The sticky areas arise when those breaks slowly creep into motivation and transform that motivation into a blasé pile of “eh” — when you start getting used to not doing that thing you care about.
I’m sure there are many lucky people who don’t know what it means to slip into “eh” mode. But for those of us who do, having someone give you a little kick in the behind can work wonders. When you care about sticking with a goal, a routine, or an idea, let someone know. Make that person hold you accountable.
How I’ve Found Accountability
This blog has been another excellent means of finding people to hold me accountable. When I started out, I posted my writing goals in the hopes that making a public announcement would keep me on my toes. Though my readership was quite modest, it meant there were at least a few people out there expecting me to keep my word. So I did.
More recently, Chuck Westbrook chose this blog to be featured for his as yet unnamed blog club. When I found out a few hundred people were going to be expecting good things from me, I got motivated pretty quickly. When you know someone’s keeping tabs, the incentive to perform is more obvious. Ideally, we rely on our own desire to create as our primary source of motivation. But since your desire and motivation can’t be on call 24/7, it can be extremely helpful to have someone holding you accountable.
Where to Find Accountability
It’s not very hard to find someone to hold you accountable. You’re basically giving someone full permission to nag you, call you out, and bust your balls. Who could resist? Seriously, though, the person you choose doesn’t really have to nag you or bust your balls. A gentle reminder is often enough to get you moving again.
Your accountability person can be a friend you meet for coffee every day. It can be your significant other, your mom, or even your cousin who lives across the country but Skypes you three times a week. But in order for this to work well, it should be someone who knows what matters to you. Someone you trust.
So, where could you use a bit of accountability in your life? Who do you turn to?
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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
My online community – disconnected and undefined – as of yet – holds me naturally accountable. I gave the mind map a whirl, Zoe. I posted a list of my go-somewhere-news – and have asked my readers to help me pick from among the list of 15 subjects. All of these require nerve and moxie to write about. Thanks for the encouragement. Traveling mercies.
JenX67´s last blog post..Go Somewhere New
Funny how “significant others” often tend to regard writing that way – not somehow “real” stuff – just that writing stuff you do
CJ´s last blog post..A Plea For Our Wonderful World
My wife holds me most accountable, but I’ve found that WD holds me accountable in another, wonderful way as well. I enjoy making loud declarations and then feeling the urgency to make them come true.
Writer Dad´s last blog post..Redbook… An Excerpt
Well, since rethinking my writing goals and saying them to the world, I would think it would be the world, but that’s not a real person.
I know my blog readers do expect something, but I need a physical person to talk things through with and of course, hold me accountable. I’m pretty good at pressuring myself, but now that I’ve started writing fiction, I want it to continue to me a desire to create and not a have to so I’ll share what I’m doing with my husband and let him be my accountability person with gentle encouragement.
TJ Hirst´s last blog post..Prayer and Gratitude Go Hand-in-Hand
It’s amazing how those fellas keep you in line or at least try to, anyhow.
My Mister doesn’t hold me accountable, but I feel like having another person there does, somehow, make me feel in touch with my goals.
I am fortunate to have a variety of people in both my physical and on-line lives that I’m comfortable asking to keep me accountable. My problem lies in my refusal to pay attention to what I’m struggling with. If I can’t face my weaknesses, then I can’t focus on articulating positive goals to combat those weaknesses.
Usually I know what I need (like to go to the gym 3x a week, or spend less time on Twitter), but it’s not always what I want. It’s human nature, but your post has inspired me to make a concerted effort to keep it in check. I’m going to write down some goals then take the leap and ask for some accountability.
Kristin T.´s last blog post..All this nonsense is really about the dialogue
I find that no one really holds me accountable for my actions…except my son and my journal.
Matthew Dryden´s last blog post..I Didn’t Know If You’d Do It Or Not
I need accountability with writing, fitness, and household chores. Writing is easy. I have committed to my four posts a week, and I am accountable to my readers. Fitness, well, I finally joined a gym and just paid a huge whack of money. So, I am accountable to my wallet. Household … the Urbane Lion is worse than I am with this one, so he’s no help. I am normally pretty good, but when it gets out of hand, I invite people over for dinner or a party. Then I clean.
Urban Panther´s last blog post..Check that phone at the door
I would love to say that I can hold my self accountable, but then I wouldnt be human…nor likely have any meaningful realtionships. I am happy to say I have my Hubs of 25 years to give me the kick I occasionaly need.
Due to my subject matter, which has a focus on fitness and weight loss, many of the blogs I visit are people’s method of accountability. They write about their healthy lifestyle journeys. Blogging is definitely one way to stay accountable, with readers being the main driver.
For me, my readers are also one of my methods of accountability. Plus, I try to hold myself accountable.
LisaNewton´s last blog post..Do you live or die by the scale?
I wish I could say that I hold myself accountable, but unfortunately I rarely do. Since I started teaching, though, my students have really been doing that for me. Mostly because I know how irresponsible teenagers can be and I know how irresponsible I can be. I don’t want them to see me (an “adult”) validating their own laziness.
For most things, its my wife. If I lost weight in the past year, it is because of her. It is not that she nags me about it – it is simply that the fact that she cares about me makes me want to try harder.
expect me to produce something. That is my accountability framework.
Having people expect things from you is not a bad thing. It certainly seems to have worked for you on this blog. You knew your readers would be expecting you to produce so you kicked yourself and got it done.
I have never written more than since I started blogging. Because I know that the people coming to my blog (all 4-5 of you
Alain Lemay´s last blog post..Helping Bloggers get some exposure!
Many people may feel I *should* be accountable to them, wife, kids, boss, family.
End of the day, I’m only accountable to myself.
Not being narcissistic, rather real, truthful and true to myself.
I have to be able to look myself in the mirror (excuse the cliche) and feel good about what I’ve done, answer to myself for what I haven’t, and assess how I can do better (or more or more relevant).
Only I really know me, I’m pretty much the only one I can make excuses to and contradict those excuses.
Boils down to personality, honesty, integrity, passion and commitment.
I’m Grant Simmons, and I’m accountable for this message
@ JenX67 – I just looked at your mind map and read the post. You took this idea to a brave depth… I’m looking forward to seeing where these new directions take you.
@ CJ – Luckily, Mr. J just likes to bust my chops. He’s actually a wonderful critic/editor of my writing, so I cannot really complain
@ Writer Dad – I definitely know where you’re coming from… that urgency is a bit addictive, I think!
@ TJ – It sure does help to have someone around who can see when you need some soft prodding.
@ Kim – Yup, it just makes you feel like you should stick to what you said you’d be doing. Sometimes even without words.
@ Kristin – I find that it’s hard to draw the line sometimes between what I really want and what I’m just doing. Little habits that I kinda get a kick out of, but that are actually kind of disrupting the things I *really* want.
@ Matthew – Those sound like some pretty good accountable-holders
.
@ Urban Panther – Love the dinner party trick! I’ll have to try that next time I can’t motivate cleaning… hmm, maybe it would encourage me to start unpacking…
@ Trina – So, is that why you keep him around
?
@ Lisa – Fitness is a big one for this. For me, having someone to work out with makes a huge difference.
@ Caren – Ooh, so I suppose I can’t visit your classroom and tell them how you *really* are…
!
@ Alain – It’s certainly not a bad thing. Whenever I announce that I’m making a big move, or a big change, it usually pushes me to do really good things
Knowing it matters to your wife too is a wonderful motivation.
@ Grant – You make a good point…it’s easy to make excuses to other people. In the end, I think having someone else hold you accountable really just means that they revive your personal sense of need/want/aspire.
Hi, Zoe~
In the final analysis, we are really responsible for ourselves. I would not enjoy someone holding me “accountable” because it would put me under pressure to perform. If I am writing poetry or fiction, that is a task that only my muse can prompt and control. If I am writing for a client, that is a bit different. I think it is really our responsibility as writers to do what works for us, for if our prose seems forced and contrived, our readers will know. An old mentor told me this – “Never let the reader see the author at work.” My habit is to work hard for several hours and then let what I have written simmer on the back burner. when I take it out and look at it, I can instantly tell if my muse has spoken. Therein lies my accountability.
I think each of us has a way of getting the job done. When I was writing fiction full time, My goal was 750 words per day. A good writer can hammer that out in an hour. What to do with the rest of the day? Take a nap? Visit friends? The choice really is your own. I think it ties well into your post about time.
Peace,
Alden~
Alden Smith´s last blog post..On Being Thankful This Day
@ Alden – I agree that “In the final analysis, we are really responsible for ourselves.” Like I said to Grant above, I think having someone else hold you accountable is only effective if you truly want to do that thing. It’s a way of reminding you, which I definitely need sometimes.
I work on my fiction regularly (daily, when I’m being good!), because I find that pushing myself with creative writing helps me write better. Sure, there is plenty of crap that comes out in between, but when I just sit and wait for inspiration, I tend to not write at all. Like you said, we each have our own way!
By the way, my current daily goal is 750 words per day
.