What is Right in Your Life?
(Or, How to Balance Appreciation for What You Have and the Exploration of Change.)
Earlier this week, I endured a few mornings of anxiety — a tight ball of worry rumbling at the base of my lungs, making it nearly impossible to focus on anything else. A sense of foreboding hovered in my stomach, as if I had suddenly become aware of some dreadful mistake I was making in life. I found myself questioning my dedication as a writer, the point of my freelance business, and why I was writing anyway. The worst part of all this anxiety was that I didn’t know how to handle it, so I became even more frazzled thinking of what could possibly be wrong with me.
Thankfully, my left brain was not completely drowned out by the madness. With some simple, unexpectedly effective guidance from Havi — how can you not appreciate an eye-rolling habits-educating/meditation-making/yoga-doing blogger? — I shifted my perspective and realized the only problem was how I was reacting, not what I was reacting to. For some reason, I had started framing my thoughts in a really negative way, and all these wonderful things in my life were transformed into sources of worry. Once I realized this, the ball of anxiety completely disintegrated, and I felt enormously better. Really. I realized how absurd my worrying had been, and it became kind of funny. Of course it’s important to wonder and ponder about one’s “life in general,” but why bother worrying about it?
Does Appreciation Lead to Complacency?
Fast forward to yesterday. While browsing new titles in my RSS reader, I came across Jonathan’s latest post on Illuminated Mind: “What’s Right With Your Life?”. Jonathan essentially asks his readers to focus on what is good in their life, instead of emphasizing what is wrong and needs to be changed. This was a refreshing idea for a personal development blog (as he acknowledged), and it immediately reminded me of my realization earlier this week. But at first read, something didn’t fully click for me. As much as I value appreciating the good that surrounds me, I am also undeniably drawn to striving for change and pushing limits. Is it possible to really appreciate what I have and still strive for something different? I contemplated this for a few minutes, and decided that the two aren’t mutually exclusive. Actually, I’ve lived most of my life so far quite happy wherever I am but still moving, changing, and striving. It seems wholly unnatural for human beings to resist change, but change is not necessarily proof that something was wrong with your former situation. Instead, change is an indication that your natural rhythm is not switched off. Appreciating what’s right in your life doesn’t mean that you can’t also appreciate — and strive for — the possibility of change and novelty. In other words, appreciation does not lead to complacency. I decided that Jonathan’s post actually clicked quite well with my perspective.
In the good spirit of blogging conversations and whatnot, Jonathan tagged me on his meme-hence this post.
So here are few things right in my life:
• Creative writing. This year, I have dedicated myself to writing much more than I ever have in the past. Language is one thing I’ve been consistently passionate about since I was old enough to read and write, so it feels pretty amazing to finally devote more time to writing. For the first time, my writing is a priority.
• Freelance business. After spending a few months as a freelance writer for someone else’s company, I was completely bored with the work. I dreaded sitting at my laptop to complete the assignments, and it was slowly giving me a distaste for the act of writing. Once I realized this, I dropped the gig, cleared my mind, and started my own freelance writing business. Though the first few months were far from steady and I sometimes struggled to find work, I eventually secured a dependable flow of work. More satisfying still is that for the most part, I work on projects that actually interest me.
• Living abroad. When I moved to Chiang Mai, Thailand a little over a year ago, I knew that life here would be extremely different from New York life…but I wasn’t sure how. Moving here was the first time I came to Asia, so there was no doubt I would absorb dramatic cultural changes. But the basic change in lifestyle that this move allowed was what really triggered the life changes mentioned above. The cost of living is much lower here, allowing me to split my time between my (non-paying) creative projects and my freelance work. For now, I won’t get deep into all the cultural changes I’ve enjoyed, but I will say that the food is incredible, the pace of life is slower (OK, sometimes too slow), and it’s my first time tackling a tonal language. Plus, there’s just something I find irresistible about the expat life.
• The people who surround me. It’s really easy to meet interesting people in Chiang Mai. Both Thai and farang (Westerners), the people I’ve grown close to here over the past year have offered so much support, fun, and novelty. Though many of my loved ones are nearly 9,000 miles away, I’ve never for a minute doubted the value of our relationships. Friends and family in the States and Europe have always been an e-mail or a Skype call away, whether it was for love advice, book recommendations, or slightly corny “I’m always here for you” talks.
• Food. I know I said I wouldn’t get into the cultural changes in this post, but I changed my mind. For me, food is an essential facet of enjoying life. I love tasting new dishes, eating my boring favorites, and cooking at home (OK, more often watching food being cooked at home…I tend more toward the sous-chef role). The food in Thailand is full of extreme flavors, either spicy, salty, bitter, or sweet, or even a combination of these accents. Who knew sugar in noodle soup could taste delicious? I’m now pretty spoiled in the food department, because good food is pretty much impossible to avoid in Thailand, and the prices are also pretty tough to beat.
Now that I started this list, I could keep going for a while. But I’ll spare you the pages of details, and stick with the five big ones above. What about you — what’s right in your life?
Add your comments below, or click the title of this post if no comment form is visible!
If you enjoy this blog, I invite you to subscribe by e-mail or by RSS reader (links are near the top of the sidebar).
![[del.icio.us]](http://www.essentialprose.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/delicious.png)
![[Digg]](http://www.essentialprose.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/digg.png)
![[Facebook]](http://www.essentialprose.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/facebook.png)
![[Google]](http://www.essentialprose.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/google.png)
![[StumbleUpon]](http://www.essentialprose.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/stumbleupon.png)
![[Twitter]](http://www.essentialprose.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/twitter.png)
![[Email]](http://www.essentialprose.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/email.png)
I’m envious of your access to authentic Thai cuisine. Yum! And I admire your bravado moving to a foreign land that you’d never even visited before. That’s admirable!
@Melissa – If you ever find yourself on this side of the world, I’ll take you out for a delectable meal!
Wow, I just found your site through Jonathan’s… and just wow! We have so much in common, it’s quite crazy. I am about to travel to China for 4 months, with the eye to move to Singapore afterwards. It will be my first time in Asia, but like you, I find the expat lifestyle rewarding.
I also did some freelance writing this past summer, and it’s interesting how much it can change your perspective about life. Now I don’t take assignments unless they make my heart sing.
Send me an email if you want to connect, I’d love to learn more about you!
Thai food is wonderful. I can only imagine the delicacies that greet you wherever you go.
I’m not jealous. Honestly.
[...] sneaked in and now sit in our laps. OK, small disclaimer: I realize I recently wrote a post about appreciating what is right in your life. But read that post carefully, and you’ll see I point out that striving for change and [...]
I love this post. What’s going right in my life? I am recently married and while it isn’t always perfect, it has been so amazing and a growing experience. I also have been pursuing a college dream, and also making good friendships at this stage in my life.
What is right in my life?
I hurt my back at work just a little over six months ago and have been at home recovering. The extra time has allowed me to focus on writing, and for the first itme in ten years I have been paid for something that I wrote. I got a little money for some short pieces I wrote for a publisher and I now have a contract position with an excellent publishing company with a product I strongly believe in.
What a wonderful attitude! You’re facing changes with eagerness and class.
Daisy´s last blog post..Overheard
Zoe, I am coming over to your “place” on the announcement on Chuck’s blog that yours is the blog of choice for the next 2 weeks. First, congratulations! Second, I’m digging in and catching up on your feed.
Let me say that this post interested me in title, as I write on very similar topics on my own blog at least once a week. I must confess, the first 2 paragraphs above “Does Appreciation Lead to Complacency” lost me a bit. I had a tough time getting through that part. Once I hit that about the 2nd or 3rd sentence in the above titled section, I was in and found my narrative hook.
I was intrigued by the questions you asked, and enjoyed the small glimpse into your thought processes. That part, for me, allowed me to briefly share in your thoughts and I began to instantly relate – as I ask many of the same questions
I also enjoyed your list of things you enjoyed. It was matter of fact, humorous, and let me “get to know you better”, as it were.
Lastly, the ending seemed a bit abrupt, but I like how you asked for my input.
Here’s to more interesting reads…
Warmest Regards,
Ken Stewart
Ken Stewart´s last blog post..Job Hunting from the Trenches: 6 Hard Earned Lessons
I’ve checked out a couple of your posts, and I admire your focus on blogging to explore and expand your writing! And thinking about what’s going right in your life can also be to strengthen these things! I’m fortunate that most things are going right in my life right now (work, relationship, spirit), so I’m looking to keep these going strong!
Hi! Congrats on being the blog of choice.
I’m a single Mum of 4 boys, and last year we spent a week in Phukhet. I wanted the boys to see something different to suburban life in Australia, and I also wanted to ride an elephant. Thailand is so beautiful… and so very different in a lot of ways, and I was in the ‘tourist trap’ part of it! You must be having a fascinating time.
Things that are good in my life? My children are actually pretty nice human beings (thank goodness), my job is entertaining and pays the bills and I’m quietly contented with life in general. It may get a little humdrum at times, but then there’s far worse things than ‘humdrum’. I know for a fact that I’d rather be quiet and have life flow on than have my attention dramatically caught by something interesting but awful. (Until the feral wife beating neighbours moved out I had ample evidence of that!!)
Frogdancer´s last blog post..Queen sized quilt top.
I think this is a great post for Chuck to select. You use a photo to begin and move us to your life with the use of headings. I think that’s what is so great about blogs, their look and the easier the post is to read, the more you want to stay with it.
Then of course the content is very powerful.
I liked it very much,
Bonnie
Bonnie K´s last blog post..What a Big Night!: Memoir Monday
@ Frogdancer – Having nice people for children must make life a whole lot easier. I love seeing parents who actually love hanging out with their kids.
@ Bonnie – I realized recently how much more powerful and grabbing a post is with a photo. Even though content is foremost on a writing blog, the aesthetic is really important to me too.
Hi Zoe,
I have another blog: http://blkdrama.wordpress.com
It’s designed to present an image at its best and then provide space for text. I’m very interested in digitized text.
Bonnie
Bonnie K´s last blog post..What a Big Night!: Memoir Monday
@ Bonnie – Sorry, your comment was stuck in the spam queue because of the link (my filter catches *too many* links!). The layout of that blog is great…like flipping through a photo album + journal.
This is probably going to sound extremely daft: obviously its a great idea to talk about what is going right in one’s life.
However(!) the thing that struck me was that you changed your mind half way through the article and because of your flow and way of writing, it felt totally normal.
I read a lot of pieces from students (at our university newspaper) and I bleed when I see unnatural English. This doesn’t mean my English is perfect, but your’s is truly delightful to read.
-Paradise
Paradise @ lastminuteacademic.blogspot.com´s last blog post..Jerk Mentality?
@ Paradise – Thank you so much : ) I must admit, it’s pretty common that my perspective shifts as I’m writing an article. I think that it’s natural for me, so I’m happy that it seems natural in the writing as well.
[...] This post was Twitted by tdavidson – Real-url.org [...]